I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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