My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
