We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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