he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just forgot I was standing up.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
