i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
