Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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