don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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