Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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