Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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