talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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