I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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