I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
