oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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