I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I currently don't understand fingers.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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