Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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