I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I want to be your penis for a week.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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