you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
