when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
