wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
