I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
