You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
