so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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