Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
