I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i wish my penis had a tongue
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
