At least make sure they are 18
Why
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
