hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
