Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
