All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
