I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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