I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
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Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.