What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.