I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
