let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
