Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
