Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
