Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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