you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
