So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
