We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
