Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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