this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
