If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
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We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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