Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
