She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I want to fling myself into the sun
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
