Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
