I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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