Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
