Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
