I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
