I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
