This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
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Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
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My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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