I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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