How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
