I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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