Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
