She went from zero to smokin in five shots
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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