We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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