i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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