dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just invented taco cereal.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
