just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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