I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
