i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
