Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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