Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
